So I started this post about 20 days ago with
"A day with so many emotions!!! I don't know how to handle them all."
That day when you got all that ice cream you wanted but with a dollop of ketchup on top. Yep that's been my kind of day :/ "
And it was as far as I got. I then physically and emotionally lost it. With everything I already had to deal with, one more bit on top it turns out I couldn't handle. For the first week I barely slept and if i did it was on and off throughout the night, I got into a very depressive state. Didn't want to speak or see people, my housework became nil void and my health well it started kicking my ass.
I guess your asking why, when I'll tell you it may seem simple to some but to whom it's happening it isn't. Plus I have told doctors exactly whats happening before but finally I seen a consultant who told me I'm right!...So in one way it was a great relief, but on the other completely devastating.
My bowels keep obstructing..... I'll be having a normal day, or sleeping and I will get an extreme urge to go to the bathroom, so I go and sit, and well do the natural next step but nothing happens yet still have an urgent feeling to go so try again and the feeling that follows, pain, hot flush, woozy and feeling so so sick. Early hours of the morning is its most popular moment, but happens at random points. I'll suffer discomfort and my stomach will balloon to the point where even my husband said "I think the Dr will test you for pregnancy today" and then it can be an hour or a few and it'll let it all out at once with barely any warning. Some times I get some air first (yes I mean fart!)
It's gotten worse recently, a lot worse, some days I can do daily stuff and others I'm taking pain killers and being out of it for hours at a time. BUT I finally got some sleep last Tuesday night and since then my mood has started picking up. If I have sleepless nights again it drops a little but hey I'm over tired its to be expected.
So I'm to have a "specialist MRI" not sure what that means but as my Desmoids don't show up on CT's whilst I'm in the MRI he wants to see if they can pick them up as well as the state of my intestine. From that we will see if they urgently need to go in and remove some intestine, and with the Desmoids covering them that's a BIG risk, Or to wait and if they close and stay closed be rushed to my local hospital, Whom last time I was rush in as it was a problem didn't know what Desmoid Tumours was.....So you see how wide my options are! Trust the specialists but with a big survival risk or wait and hope they notice and it gets worse before people who have no idea rush in.
All good times!
I hope you are all well and pain free <3
